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Entry 366? HA!
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Thursday
THURSDAY!!!
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Yowl....
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
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MANDALABLOG
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Focus on the Positive
Mood:
 celebratory
Now Playing: If I saw You in Heaven (?)-Eric Clapton
Topic: Life and Death
HHHHMMMMMMMMMM........ Where to start. I think that as a rule we are conditioned to whine about things because when we do, people come to our aid and offer solutions. Whether we take them up on it or not is another story, but for the most part we like to have something to fix. I mentioned in my blog this morning that I was frustated by the financial squeeze that I feel today while knowing that there is money owed to me that is just days out of reach. I am far from destitute, and while I have a list of wants, it is so material that it seems ridiculous to even talk about it. What is my health worth, or my family, or my friends? In typical Universe fashion, I was reminded what was really important today. I already knew that I was going to a pot-luck for a friend of mine who would have been celebrating his second wedding anniversary today. His wife is the woman who lost a short but intense battle with ovarian cancer this summer. I did NOT know that today was going to be the day that another friend of mine would lose her husband who has been struggling through Leukemia treatment for three years now. (We did know that it was going to be soon). I know that at this point passing was a blessing. It doesn't make it any easier for those who were with him and fought so hard to keep it from happening. I knew Eddie for about three years before he found out he had cancer. He always called me Moo-chellie. He would come into the restaurant to wait for Linda to get done, and have a beer at the bar. When the show "Crossing Over" came out, he would come and discuss it with me. When I found out he had leukemia I did a reiki mandala for him. When I found out about the bone marrow transplant, I had dreams about him. I told them about what I saw, but I never really got a response, so I let it go. I still remember the dreams. I know that I will hear from him from the other side. He did what he had to do. I know that I will take from this experience, and use it in future situations, and I know that I will be hearing from Eddie now that he has "crossed over" as well. Stay Tuned!
Posted by mandalafly
at 10:34 PM PDT
Updated: Tuesday, October 11, 2005 10:36 PM PDT
Abundanza
Mood:
 cool
Now Playing: If I had a Million Dollars-Bare Naked Ladies
Topic: SQUEEEKKIN BY!!!
Blah. I am in a place where I can't stand to be. I am feeling the squeeze of what is acting a lot like a Saturn lesson-truth and restriction. I find that I undervalue my services to a point of giving my stuff away. I will settle for a price because I feel like someone else will think I am greedy. I think that just because I couldn't afford me, that means that no one can. I also think that sometimes I feel like I can do so much by myself that I don't accept help (or money) from other sources. There is a Sagittarian aspect-something to the effect that if someone gives me something I will owe them, and I don't want to be bound to obligation. Mostly because my Capricorn Sun and three planets in virgo that create a double grand earth trine with my Jupiter in Taurus makes me a WORKHORSE!!! If I decide to take on an obligation, I will go above and beyond the call of duty to fulfill it. The Jupiter placement is beneficial, however my Saturn placement says I will not make any progress until I learn how to stop being my own worst enemy! The most frustrating thing this week is that I have $8 in my bank account until I get paid Friday. I am waiting for someone to pick up a mandala, I have an insurance check waiting in the wings, (got to dot a couple more t's), I have another mandala commission, I am working extra shifts at the Guacamole Gorda, Baboo got a four day workshop out of the blue, and I am investing time on my faerie boxes. I am sure that by Saturday I will be just fine. I just have to make it through until then. I am so busy until then I am not sure how I am even finding time to worry about it, but it is probably BECAUSE I have so much going on that I feel the need to pump the nerves up to full capacity. Coffee anyone-I'm feelin the burn!!! Thought for the day: What am I really worth?
Posted by mandalafly
at 9:45 AM PDT
Sunday, October 9, 2005
Movin' On UP!!!
Mood:
 chillin'
Topic: Harbinger
Had a dream about an apartment that was in the basement-kind of half underground. I was getting ready to move and there were people coming to show the place. I switched to a different vantage point, one where I could see the place from the outside. I got a sense of light coming from inside, there was a pale yellow light emanating from the windows. When I woke up, I had a sense that it was a shift in energy in my house, and my body. Later, I was washing my umpteenth champaign flute at Los Empanada's Empire. I was daydreaming about what it is going to be like when I am travelling the world, teaching mandalas, and promoting creativity. I started thinking about what had led me to this point, and about what I needed to do next. I thought about how many times I have read accounts of people who, after their awakening moment (phase...whatever) thought that life would change, and they could quit their job, and just-I don't know, be a GURU? Maybe they thought that they would just float to the next plane (fly me high into the starry sky...) Maybe they thought that it would be constant bliss, that nothing would ever go wrong in their lives again. I know that all of these thoughts have crossed MY mind. I think one minute that I am pretty high on the enlightenment ladder, and then I have a moment where I just want to growl at the next person who asks me to get them another basket of chips! It reminds me that I have a ways to go. I thought about how absolutely ordinary and every day intuition actually is, and how many people really know things, but are afraid to say them for fear of looking strange. I thought about how inherent our senses are, and how much we take them for granted. I thought about how lucky I am to be able to notice. I spy with my Third Little EYE...What do YOU see there?
Posted by mandalafly
at 11:49 PM PDT
Friday, October 7, 2005
Shushumna
Mood:
 lyrical
Now Playing: SPACE-APRIL 1,1995-Grateful Dead-Memphis-Pyramid
Topic: IDA/PINGALA
I am posting my photo album so that when I talk in today's entry about IDA's mandala you can go in and take a look. When I did Ida's mandala last spring, I put the cauduceus in it. It is the medical staff-or Wand of Hermes. She told me that all of her life she has felt as though she was going to save someone else's life. She is interested in becoming an EMT. Her father is a doctor. I gave her one of my favorite meditations using this as your visualization. She loved it. I was going through a book on chakras last weekend and came upon some information that was not only pertinent to her mandala, but is fun info for you as well! The Staff of Hermes is representative of several things. One of which is the three major psychic meridians in the body. Each begins at the base of the spine. The middle one is called Shushumna. It is the staff. It goes straight up the spine. The other two intertwine around the chakras and are the solar and lunar meridians. They are the snakes. They are known as the Ganges and Yamuna rivers. They are called PINGALA (solar) and IDA (lunar). Do you see what I see? LEARNING IS FUN!!!
Posted by mandalafly
at 11:07 AM PDT
Updated: Wednesday, August 2, 2006 7:33 PM PDT
Thursday, October 6, 2005
Jar of Clay
Mood:
 mischievious
Now Playing: Another Brick in the Wall-Pink Flloyd
This Monday was the second annual solar eclipse of the year. The moon was in Libra, and the eclipse magnifies it's influence by like 10. This affected my Aquarian sun/Libra moon son immensely. He missed school on Monday-exhausted from going too fast and furious on the weekend. Tuesday morning I dropped him off at school and went to work. I told my boss that I had a feeling he I was going to be hearing from his ceramics teacher soon. I thought it would be a week or so from now-try 3:pm the SAME DAY!!! UGH! He loves the class. He just sensed that he could challenge this particular human and frustrate her to the point of speechlessness. If he were a superhero-this would be his superpower! My dramatic little conundrum was born in Aquarius with a Leo rising. His moon in Libra makes him want life to be beautiful. He has a way of aligning himself with kids who come from what he perceives as "perfect" places (ie-rich kids!) He has five planets in capricorn in his fifth and sixth houses (creativity and work). If I had to pick the perfect job for Dylan, it would be Playwrite and/or Director. He will have an entire team doing the work for him and he will be known as Infuriatingly Brilliant. He LOVES Quentin Tarentino, and he has sophisticated tastes in every entertainment genre. He is captivated by the life of Kurt Cobain and the music of Nirvana. He is one of those kids that dress in black and have their hair dyed black too. He is an enigma to his peers. He is VERY stubborn and in order to get him to do what you want you have to make him think that it was his idea in the first place-which can take a little doing when you are trying to get 30 or so high school kids to clean up clay! I think that his little outburst on Tuesday(which has been raked over the coals and toasted by now)has led to a new understanding between teacher and pupil-and in effect has created a great learning experience for everyone involved. Another happy outcome of this is that she asked me to come and speak to a couple of her classes about my art!!! I can't WAIT! For every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows!!!
Posted by mandalafly
at 11:15 AM PDT
Tuesday, October 4, 2005
Procrastination
Mood:
 caffeinated
Now Playing: Benny and the Jets-Elton John
Topic: Beta Waking
"She's got electric boooooooooooobs..."ooooohhh-tee heeeeeeee.....(you hear what you want to hear!) I am thinking about ways in which I would like to develop my products. I sat last night and put a base coat on another cigar box purse. I am really excited by the reception that they are getting. I am really having fun thinking about the possibilities that my subject matter affords. The girls at work were showing the first one that I made around. One of them said something to the effect that they felt like they would be walking down a street somewhere far away and see my designs in some Gucci style boutique someday. Ahhhh...they are finallly sensing the power of a passion for art. I am remembering someone who once told me that I was not getting enough art done because I was working in a restaurant to put myself through school and it was eating up my time. My argument was that without the job, there was no school, there was only work in a restaurant forever! I had no other way to pay for an education. I always felt like it was one of my strengths to be able to be able to work and still do what I love. I argued that in the "real world"-outside of college, work would be a reality, and that I was going to need to learn to get things done in the between time. I was right. Maybe because I had something to prove to someone that was not really in touch with who I really was or what I had been through up to that point. I think if he'd had an inkling that I had the upbringing that I had, he have been a little more supportive since he thrived on alcoholic fueled rages and manic-depressive throes of passion. Unleash your BEAST!!! He died at an early age from the pure stress of disliking himself so intensely. Can't say that I am surprised. Ha Ha-Beast of Burden just came on the radio...I love it when that happens!!! On that note...I'm not too blind to seeeeeeee....
Posted by mandalafly
at 9:57 AM PDT
Solar Eclipse
Mood:
 spacey
Now Playing: Us and Them-Pink Flloyd
Topic: Red October
Oh-let me tell you all how I should have been in bed quite while ago. It is past my bedtime, but it is prime time for that sort of Beta wave trying to take over the Alpha state that makes a visit to the old BLOG-ER-OO worth the trip. Hop on board! I'm off to the races in the head again. I have a million ideas, and I take it for granted. I notice that when I talk to people about what I am up to, they think that I must never sleep. I assure you, I get my rest. They hear a fraction of my actual portfolio in my mind, and they say that I do SO much-I on the otherhand see the task before me and feel like I am only touching the surface right now. I am squeezing art out of every time portal that I can capture, but I still find plenty of hours to piddle away!!! It's all about perception. One of the new girls at work said to me last week that I must be using extra parts of my brain-and I am hoping she is right. How would I know? Today was a solar eclipse, and the new moon is in Libra (as is the sun). Libra is the house of partnerships, both business and pleasure. Now is a good time to examine the partnerships in your life. The period of the solar eclipse (3 days b4-3 days after) can be intense, and shine a magnifier on things that need to be addressed. Personally, I am tapping a new creative vein for Holiday Market and making some SWEET cigar box purses with Angels and Faeries and the like, on them. Also Zodiac Boxes, and hopefully some original layered paper mandalas and other mystical creatures as they appear to me. Seems like every idea I have is spawning more babies than I can possibly entertain. WOW! I love having a brain!
Posted by mandalafly
at 12:48 AM PDT
Updated: Tuesday, October 4, 2005 1:05 AM PDT
Friday, September 30, 2005
Velveeta
Mood:
 loud
Now Playing: Life During War Time-Talking Heads
Topic: Cheese it UP
how come in the listings for the "emoticons" available for my site, I am faced with the lamest choices!!! I have some creative emoticons I could use-how about "cheesy"-that's what I could have used today.
Posted by mandalafly
at 5:04 PM PDT
Brain Teasers
Mood:
chillin'
Now Playing: Dark Side of the Moon-Pink Flloyd
Topic: Continuum
I am really in another part of my brain in the last couple of days. I am having some pretty intense realizations of how small a parcel of real estate that I actually occupy in the time-space cloak of life. One tiny iota of a point where Eugene, Oregon intersects December 31...and creates that which constitutes my journey up until now. I have heard it said that if you pick up a Grateful Dead tape that someone has been listening to, chances are that it will be stopped when the show gets to the part known as Space. It takes a special mindset to be able to listen to Space the way that it is best enjoyed (no-I am not saying that you have to be on mind altering chemicals!-but if you must...) you do have to be ready to alter you thought patterns from the everyday busy-ness of life. I'm wanting to go there now. See you later!!!
Posted by mandalafly
at 1:28 PM PDT
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Back in the Saddle
Mood:
 irritated
Now Playing: All Good People-YES
Topic: HEY NOW!!!
Just to set the record straight, I am not really THAT irritated, I am just having one of those days that are kind of like a mosquito buzzing in your ear. Actually the last couple of days have been intense and focused on many of the things that need to be taken care of. A bunch of little nitpicky-shine-ola issues ganged up and harrassed my little sub-conscious until it wished for a quiet corner, while the task of making sure that the general public met their salsa intake quota kept me too occupied to do much about any of it. The day started out rough as son jr. decided that he wasn't getting out of bed in time to get son sr. to school on time (we made it with minutes to spare-I'm not sure how) Meanwhile I came home and was going to pay some bills and found that Baboo had my debit with him at the dog park. (By the way Tyrone was a relief from the chaos-finally performing "roll over" on his own after several not very promising looking weeks!) +++ Insert work rant here +++ Fortunately the evening salvaged the rest of the day (oh-and when I felt it start getting to me I had a Rodeo roll over moment:)) The boys did what I asked and I got to watch the second half of Martin Scorcese's Bob Dylan film on OPB and then a show profiling artists. I have to admit some jealousy when I see these people who get to work on their art all of the time. I am also envious of studio space, when I am crammed into a 100 square foot room which is divided in half between Baboo and me...ugh. See-feelin a bit sorry for myself. "I WANT AN OOMPAH-LOOMPAH NOW, DADDY" I KNOW that my art is good enough. I need to get it in front of the right people and present it in the right way. I am aware that that is what the grant money is going to help with, but I don't have that yet. I am trying to make what I have be enough, but I can see where I want the work to actually be, and I know that it is going to take time to get there. Until then, I need to keep progressing. I think about it and I can see that I have come a long way just in the last nine months, and I know that I have enough ideas to keep me busy for the rest of my life, I am just needing to have contact with people who can appreciate that a girl's got to make a living!!! Know anybody who wants to buy some art?
Posted by mandalafly
at 12:36 AM PDT
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